Firstly, admit it, how many of us took a pre-pregnancy pair of jeans to the hospital with them, under the mis-guided belief that they would parade out of there, 24 hours later, looking exactly as they had 40 weeks previously?
Last week a much younger mummy friend of mine confided in me that since having her daughter her boobs were, "deformed". Puzzled I got her to explain what she meant. I eventually understood that what she actually meant was her boobs had lost fullness at the top. I couldn't help myself, i had to laugh (and kept chuckling to myself on and off for the rest of the afternoon - much to her annoyance), "Sweetheart if you're deformed so am I, and pretty much every other mum I know!!" Although relieved to hear this, she was surprised that most mothers do suffer from a disappointing sag in the boob area post - pregnancy. I suppose this along with stretch marks, varacose veins and saggy tums is what you don't see with the Victoria Beckham type celeb 'yummy mummys' featured in magazines. A friend of mine Mrs D swears celeb skinny mums have a post c-section (they never seem to push do they?) tummy tuck as standard.
I must admit it is quite a shock how long it takes to get your body back to anywhere near how you remember it. I recently lost my culmunative weight gained through both of my pregnancies (bear in mind TD just turned two!). Naturally I am pleased about this, but when I look in the mirror all I see is the same saggy tummy just stuck on a smaller body.
What is even more shocking than the irriversable body changes is what happens upstairs. My friend Mrs S claims she is only one small step away from having to wear a blackboard round her neck, to write herself notes on as she goes. I refer to it as,'mummy brain', and see no signs of it departing dispite the fact that my daughter is 2.
Here are a list of things I think I would not have done BC (before children):
1. Gone to pick my son up from nursery with one jean leg tucked into my boot and the other out.
2. Sent my laptop through the post wrapped only in a jiffy bag.
3. Shouted at a middle aged woman in Tesco for, 'tutting' at FBS aged 2.
4. Took TD shopping wearing a press studded vest, tights and no nappy!
5. Posted a pile of christmas cards, some with names, addresses and stamps on, some with just names?!
Finally, did anyone ever cry at adverts pre- pregnancy? Anything be it on the news or in a soap opera can set me off. Anything involving kids and Mr B is considering getting me sedated.
The other thing is that my self confidence has definately taken a knock. I love being a mum but the tiredness, biscuit mush on your jeans and scrapped back hair, doesn't make you feel a million dollars.
But then occasionally when I get dressed up to go out, FBS will exclaim, "mummy you look beautiful!" I think he is genuinely surprised. He also says I make the best pancakes ever...I know the names of a lot of dinosaurs....and only i can make them feel better when they fall down....
Lots of changes yes. But not all bad.
Love
Kerry B xx
Tuesday 28 September 2010
Thursday 16 September 2010
Letter to TD
This is a letter to TD on the event of her 2nd birthday for her to read when she is older.
Happy Birthday darling daughter you are 2!!
As i write this you are tucked up in your cot for your afternoon nap after a hard morning at playschool. You insist on taking duck (your most favourite comforter) and also pig and peppa (pig) to bed with you. It is often quite stressful trying to locate duck when it is time for bed, as you refuse to go to bed without him. Here are my top 5 places you have hidden duck:
1. The washer
2. My welly
3. Under the seat of your ride on
4. In a blender!
5. In a pan in the pan drawer
Sometimes you get him wet just before bedtime. On our family holiday to Menorca this year I tried to dry him with my hairstraighteners in the absence of a tumble or hair dryer. You are also as obsessive about your dummy or "doddy" as you call it. Once at Grandma's you fell and hurt yourself. Your Auntie swears you shouted, "Duck, duck, doddy, doddy", before you even cried!
This time last year you had only just begun to crawl and now you run everywhere. You love playing in the garden and playgrounds and you are absolutely fearless, anything your brother does you want to do too. Once this summer whilst buying icecream in the park, you wandered off and after a moments panic I saw your little face at the top of the biggest slide. You love to show off and shout, "mum watch this, watch this!"
You talk really well for your age, (your mothers daughter), but you look just like your dad. You love playing/fighting with your brother and you are not happy that he now leaves us every day for school. Taking him to school every morning you insist on having your window open, and poke ducks head out like a dogs! Then on the walk up to school you steal blackberries from someone's garden. You always look shocked how sour they are. You usually refuse to hold my hand and I get cross. You are fiercly independent and stubborn. I hope this is the terrible 2's and you grow out of it otherwise I think you you and I are gonna fall out.
Your brother chose a birthday present himself for you. It is a "Little Mermaid" costume. However so far you have refused to try it on for him. In the end after baths the other night he tried it on himself!! I made you a birthday cake myself this year and you had a party tea. You LOVE crisps. Normally I have to keep them hidden from you as you eat them like a dizzy dog.
You like to sing, 'twinkle twinkle', and 'sleeping bunnies' and you insist on talking to whoever is on the phone. You hate having your teeth brushed. You love to wear hats. You think it is funny to pretend your name is Jack.
You are beautiful, bright and determined! I love being your mum. Happy Birthday darling xxxxx
Happy Birthday darling daughter you are 2!!
As i write this you are tucked up in your cot for your afternoon nap after a hard morning at playschool. You insist on taking duck (your most favourite comforter) and also pig and peppa (pig) to bed with you. It is often quite stressful trying to locate duck when it is time for bed, as you refuse to go to bed without him. Here are my top 5 places you have hidden duck:
1. The washer
2. My welly
3. Under the seat of your ride on
4. In a blender!
5. In a pan in the pan drawer
Sometimes you get him wet just before bedtime. On our family holiday to Menorca this year I tried to dry him with my hairstraighteners in the absence of a tumble or hair dryer. You are also as obsessive about your dummy or "doddy" as you call it. Once at Grandma's you fell and hurt yourself. Your Auntie swears you shouted, "Duck, duck, doddy, doddy", before you even cried!
This time last year you had only just begun to crawl and now you run everywhere. You love playing in the garden and playgrounds and you are absolutely fearless, anything your brother does you want to do too. Once this summer whilst buying icecream in the park, you wandered off and after a moments panic I saw your little face at the top of the biggest slide. You love to show off and shout, "mum watch this, watch this!"
You talk really well for your age, (your mothers daughter), but you look just like your dad. You love playing/fighting with your brother and you are not happy that he now leaves us every day for school. Taking him to school every morning you insist on having your window open, and poke ducks head out like a dogs! Then on the walk up to school you steal blackberries from someone's garden. You always look shocked how sour they are. You usually refuse to hold my hand and I get cross. You are fiercly independent and stubborn. I hope this is the terrible 2's and you grow out of it otherwise I think you you and I are gonna fall out.
Your brother chose a birthday present himself for you. It is a "Little Mermaid" costume. However so far you have refused to try it on for him. In the end after baths the other night he tried it on himself!! I made you a birthday cake myself this year and you had a party tea. You LOVE crisps. Normally I have to keep them hidden from you as you eat them like a dizzy dog.
You like to sing, 'twinkle twinkle', and 'sleeping bunnies' and you insist on talking to whoever is on the phone. You hate having your teeth brushed. You love to wear hats. You think it is funny to pretend your name is Jack.
You are beautiful, bright and determined! I love being your mum. Happy Birthday darling xxxxx
Thursday 9 September 2010
SLEEP - The Holy Grail of Parenting
I miss sleep. I mean obviously I do sleep. I miss unbroken sleep. I miss waking up naturally. I even miss the reliability of the alarm going off (I have not needed an alarm since FBS was born nearly five years ago). I miss going to bed and knowing i will not have to get out again until morning. I know I'm banging on, but this is what years of broken sleep does to you. You become a little bit obsessive.
At the moment a lot of my friends have just, or are about to give birth, some for the first time. Nothing can prepare you for this part of parenting. Sometimes you might hear a heavily pregnant woman musing that she isn't sleeping well and perhaps this is preparation for the baby coming. It isn't. Until you have been deep in slumber and then woken in the most brutal of ways - then made to stay awake for..say half an hour..an hour..maybe more, then you have no idea. Welcome to the first 6 weeks of parenthood (6 if you're lucky).
After that then of course you don't get a through nights sleep - but with a bit of luck the night time disturbances have been reduced to 2 or 3 times most nights. Before I had FBS I thought that one day your child,"slept through", and that was it ..end of..job done. But no! This,"sleeping through", sometimes happens by shear fluke and then is not repeated for 6 months! A child who has started "sleeping through", gets sick or goes on holiday and you're back to square one. I could more or less say FBS "slept through" by the time he was 18 months, but even now he will disturb me after a bad dream or wetting the bed, (recently he decided to go to bed in a batman costume complete with mask and woke at 2am sweating profusely and gasping for a drink!)
At baby clinics and the like there is always a mother who boasts that her child has been sleeping through since they were 2 weeks old. Here are my thoughts on this:
The mother is clearly on medication and cannot hear her child
The child is lacking in character and/or intellect
This mother will get hers eventually...I bet this child ends up with an ASBO
Most parents I know end up having to employ some kind of "tough love" strategy to get a reasonable night sleep. TD still wakes once or twice most nights. Usually it's a case of putting her dummy back in and she goes back to sleep. I could live with this if I could then jump back in the sack and go straight back to sleep. But no. Firstly, to be frank my pelvic floor is not what it was, and the minute I am woken I need to pee.
Secondly once back in bed my mind starts going. You're a stay at home mum I hear you cry, what's to think about? God only knows but it happens.
Thirdly Mr. B starts snoring and i'm really unhappy. This is all worse when it happens at 5am, cos then the likelihood of me getting back to sleep before TD wakes at 6am for the morning is slim to none.
To any new parents reading, good luck. Start sky plusing any good TV on after 9pm....
Love
Kerry B xx
At the moment a lot of my friends have just, or are about to give birth, some for the first time. Nothing can prepare you for this part of parenting. Sometimes you might hear a heavily pregnant woman musing that she isn't sleeping well and perhaps this is preparation for the baby coming. It isn't. Until you have been deep in slumber and then woken in the most brutal of ways - then made to stay awake for..say half an hour..an hour..maybe more, then you have no idea. Welcome to the first 6 weeks of parenthood (6 if you're lucky).
After that then of course you don't get a through nights sleep - but with a bit of luck the night time disturbances have been reduced to 2 or 3 times most nights. Before I had FBS I thought that one day your child,"slept through", and that was it ..end of..job done. But no! This,"sleeping through", sometimes happens by shear fluke and then is not repeated for 6 months! A child who has started "sleeping through", gets sick or goes on holiday and you're back to square one. I could more or less say FBS "slept through" by the time he was 18 months, but even now he will disturb me after a bad dream or wetting the bed, (recently he decided to go to bed in a batman costume complete with mask and woke at 2am sweating profusely and gasping for a drink!)
At baby clinics and the like there is always a mother who boasts that her child has been sleeping through since they were 2 weeks old. Here are my thoughts on this:
The mother is clearly on medication and cannot hear her child
The child is lacking in character and/or intellect
This mother will get hers eventually...I bet this child ends up with an ASBO
Most parents I know end up having to employ some kind of "tough love" strategy to get a reasonable night sleep. TD still wakes once or twice most nights. Usually it's a case of putting her dummy back in and she goes back to sleep. I could live with this if I could then jump back in the sack and go straight back to sleep. But no. Firstly, to be frank my pelvic floor is not what it was, and the minute I am woken I need to pee.
Secondly once back in bed my mind starts going. You're a stay at home mum I hear you cry, what's to think about? God only knows but it happens.
Thirdly Mr. B starts snoring and i'm really unhappy. This is all worse when it happens at 5am, cos then the likelihood of me getting back to sleep before TD wakes at 6am for the morning is slim to none.
To any new parents reading, good luck. Start sky plusing any good TV on after 9pm....
Love
Kerry B xx
Thursday 2 September 2010
First Day At School!
After days of sewing name labels into uniforms FBS started school today! This is a landmark day in any child's and parent's life. I am pleased to say that the day started without a tear!!
The morning came and he appeared in the kitchen at 7.30am dressed in his austronaut costume. "Did you sleep in that?" I asked. He had. His lovely spikey hair of yesterday, fresh from the hairdressers, had been replaced by a flat bowl style do, caused by sleeping in the austronauts helmet!! Ah well don't make a fuss, keep him calm, excited but not over whelmed.
After a breakfast of pancakes (his favourite) and 2 weetabix (I didn't want him getting hungry), he got dressed into his school uniform. With a little help with the shirt buttons and a minor panic over the school shoes hurting, he was dressed and ready to go. We took photos of course and then he insisted on modeling his uniform to the neighbours! Mr. B came with us to drop him off and also assist with TD on this special morning. FBS was so excited chattering away, "oh wait till you see my school daddy, you are gonna love it!" and "I can't believe I'm going to big school!" What happens now I imagine will be anyone's guess. When he went for his visit he said that all he could remember doing was climbing trees. I'm fairly sure that tree climbing is not as yet on the national curiculum.
I am pleased to say that FBS is one of those children who was absolutely ready to start school. Over the last 6 months it has become apparent that hanging out with me and TD simply isn't cutting it. He wants to be with kids his own age as much as possible. This readiness for school has also manifested itself in mischief. The height of which came when FBS and a neighbour's 4 year old went on a spray painting spree, with some silver paint they had found in the garage! Our car, the accomplice's mother's car and extension! Another neighbour's car, all had spray painted silver blobs on them! By shear good fortune we noticed their crime almost imediately and Mr.B managed to get the paint off with white spirit leaving no damage. FBS was in BIG trouble that day!
FBS's school is a Catholic primary school. I went to catholic school and I think sometimes your gut instinct is to stick with what is familiar. I fell in love with the school when I went to visit and an older boy (aparently preparing for an assembly) sauntered past with a life size cross over his shoulder, as if on his very own road to Calvary! How FBS will take to the nuances of Catholic education I'm not sure. Most kids go through quite a pious stage which I am looking forward to! Sometimes they fancy becoming a priest or nun. Once FBS and I drove past a large woman in a mini dress at the side of the street. "Mummy look", said FBS, "That lady has got a funny face...She looks like a man in a dress... I wonder if it's a priest?!"
..................
..................
I picked FBS up from school and he's had a great day. I asked him what he'd had for lunch and he confidently said, "Salmon, potatoes and sweetcorn............and sausages?". Similarly he couldn't really remember what he'd done all day but he seems happy to return tomorrow.
As we walked back to the car, we passed a lady sitting in her car with the window open. "Hello!", he said, "I'm just walking home from school, I've had a hard day!"
The morning came and he appeared in the kitchen at 7.30am dressed in his austronaut costume. "Did you sleep in that?" I asked. He had. His lovely spikey hair of yesterday, fresh from the hairdressers, had been replaced by a flat bowl style do, caused by sleeping in the austronauts helmet!! Ah well don't make a fuss, keep him calm, excited but not over whelmed.
After a breakfast of pancakes (his favourite) and 2 weetabix (I didn't want him getting hungry), he got dressed into his school uniform. With a little help with the shirt buttons and a minor panic over the school shoes hurting, he was dressed and ready to go. We took photos of course and then he insisted on modeling his uniform to the neighbours! Mr. B came with us to drop him off and also assist with TD on this special morning. FBS was so excited chattering away, "oh wait till you see my school daddy, you are gonna love it!" and "I can't believe I'm going to big school!" What happens now I imagine will be anyone's guess. When he went for his visit he said that all he could remember doing was climbing trees. I'm fairly sure that tree climbing is not as yet on the national curiculum.
I am pleased to say that FBS is one of those children who was absolutely ready to start school. Over the last 6 months it has become apparent that hanging out with me and TD simply isn't cutting it. He wants to be with kids his own age as much as possible. This readiness for school has also manifested itself in mischief. The height of which came when FBS and a neighbour's 4 year old went on a spray painting spree, with some silver paint they had found in the garage! Our car, the accomplice's mother's car and extension! Another neighbour's car, all had spray painted silver blobs on them! By shear good fortune we noticed their crime almost imediately and Mr.B managed to get the paint off with white spirit leaving no damage. FBS was in BIG trouble that day!
FBS's school is a Catholic primary school. I went to catholic school and I think sometimes your gut instinct is to stick with what is familiar. I fell in love with the school when I went to visit and an older boy (aparently preparing for an assembly) sauntered past with a life size cross over his shoulder, as if on his very own road to Calvary! How FBS will take to the nuances of Catholic education I'm not sure. Most kids go through quite a pious stage which I am looking forward to! Sometimes they fancy becoming a priest or nun. Once FBS and I drove past a large woman in a mini dress at the side of the street. "Mummy look", said FBS, "That lady has got a funny face...She looks like a man in a dress... I wonder if it's a priest?!"
..................
..................
I picked FBS up from school and he's had a great day. I asked him what he'd had for lunch and he confidently said, "Salmon, potatoes and sweetcorn............and sausages?". Similarly he couldn't really remember what he'd done all day but he seems happy to return tomorrow.
As we walked back to the car, we passed a lady sitting in her car with the window open. "Hello!", he said, "I'm just walking home from school, I've had a hard day!"
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