Friday 17 December 2010

Letter to FBS on his Fifth Birthday

My darling son you are 5!  You have been waiting and counting the 'sleeps' for a very long time.  We had a big pirate party for you and you were sooo excited.  You think your legs are longer now you are 5. 

What a year it has been, you finally started school!  You absolutely love it and have lots of friends.  You were a star in the school Nativity.  You had tinsel around your neck and a star on your head.  Your star kept falling infront of your eyes but you didn't seem to mind.  You were the only child that kept waving all the way through!  I think you were very proud of yourself.

 Last week you told a teaching assistant she was beautiful.  You think that this will carry favour with santa.

There is a little boy at school that you do not like.  His name is Bobby.  In week two of school he called you a, 'rude potato!'  You are still banging on about this.  You told your friend Libby and so she decided not to invite poor Bobby to her birthday party.

You look so cute in your school uniform and you have lost your two front teeth.  I know I'm your mum but you are still a handsome boy!

Sometimes you like your sister and sometimes you don't.  She adores you, but she gives as good as she gets in the fighting stakes.  Sometimes when you are sat having tea together she says, "YOU PEPPA PTHHH!".  We don't really know what she means but it makes us laugh and laugh.  If she wont hold my hand when we are walking I ask you to hold her hand and you do.  Sometimes when she is sad in the car you hold her hand there too.  You want to get bunk beds so she can share your room.

You like to go swimming and to the park.  You learnt to ride your bike in the summer.  You learnt so quickly, good balance- not like your mum.  You love watching films and having a secret snack after your sister has gone to bed.  You love books.  Your Grandma bought you one about killer animals.  I'm not entirely convinced it is suitable for a child of your age but you love it.  You really like to dress up.  It annoys you that your sister does not.  You like sausages and chocolate mini rolls.

I am soo proud of you my darling and I love you more than anything, (But the same as your sister) xxx

Thursday 25 November 2010

Half Term

So we made it to our first 1/2 term break!!  And annoyingly FBS does not seem to have missed me much at all. I on the other hand had missed him more than I imagined possible.  So I planned a fun filled week to spoil him rottern.  On the tuesday we had an outing to Magna in Sheffield.  For those of you not familiar with Magna it is a kids science museum housed in a disused steel works.  Normally FBS loves museums so I figured this would be a hit.  We went with my friend Mrs S and her two year old little boy.  After a traumatic start to the outing (Mrs S losing her car keys for over an hour) we set off.  By the time we reached Magna (it's only half an hour away) the kids were fighting (Or should I say MY kids were fighting), pulling each others woolly hats off, hiding toys etc.  We eventually got there and just as we were about to start looking round Mrs S finds some funny little wooden buggies to push kids round in.  There is even a double one for TD and her chum to ride together.  Perfect.  We put them in and took a photo as they looked so cute, "Everybody say WHEELCHAIR!"  Shouted TBS as we took a photo!

We wandered round the exhibits which are really suitable for FBS's age and upwards.  The babies amused themselves by finding things to jump on and were pretty content.  Some of the museum is quite dark and we managed to lose FBS in the AIR exhibit.  Thankfully a security man managed to reunite us, but as you can imagine not before a few tears had been shed (mainly mine). 

Half way round FBS mused, "This is not a museum, it's just a load of old junk!"  Great- cheers love.  We manage to hit the cafe for lunch at the precise moment when all the other visitors have decided to eat too.  I queued for the food whilst Mrs S had the unenviable task of trying to keep a couple of hungry 2 year olds and a 4 year old sat at a table and occupied, she described the experience as trying to 'herd cats'.

At about 3pm we decied to throw in the towel and head home.  About 15 minutes into the journey we noticed that all three of the kids had fallen fast asleep, so as a little mummy treat we stopped and had a gin and tonic sat outside a pub in the freezing cold watching the kids sleep!

After this I was kind of ready for him to go back to school!  But before school began we had Halloween to deal with.  FBS LOVES Halloween, infact after Christmas I would think it is his favourite date in the calender.  He usually insists on wearing his costume for at least a week.  A few years ago we actually took him out to an Italian restaurant still wearing his monster costume.  Mr B carved a fantastic pumpkin which prompted TD to say over and over "Pumpkin sccary..", until we were able to through the rudy thing away.

So now FBS has been back at school a few weeks and I feel we are kind of experiencing the lull before the storm.  FBS's birthday party is on the 5th december.  He is having a 'Pirate' party and because Mr B was too tight to pay for a playgym like other families, I have insisted that he dress up like a pirate!  FBS is beyond excited. 

Yesterday he lost his 2nd top front tooth!  I played tooth fairy.  When FBS lost his first tooth it took the tooth fairy 2 nights to collect it!  Cue one very upset FBS and Mr B in the dog house.

Then of course we have all the Christmas build up.  Both FBS and TD are in nativity plays!  Next monday FBS can take some money to school to choose gifts (up to the value of £2!) for me and Mr. B.  Neither of us can wait to see what he chooses.  We have a close friend Mr C who sells Christmas trees every Christmas.  For years now we have told FBS that Mr C actually works for Santa.  This year everytime he does something good or TD does something bad, he insists that I phone Mr C so he can pass the message to Santa!

Finally, FBS is learning lots and lots at school, and clearly thinks this is stuff that the rest of us are unaware of.  The other day at my mums I reminded FBS to behave, "Santa's watching", I said, "yes", said my mum, "And Jesus", 
"How do you know about him?!"  Exclaimed FBS

Love
Kerry B x

Thursday 4 November 2010

Weekend Away (x2!)

Lucky old me has had not one but two weekends away in the last month.  Perhaps explaining the lack of blogging for October!  As most mums will agree a weekend away now takes a lot more planning.  Gone are the days when you could stuff some clothes, a toothbrush and your hair straighteners in a bag and go.  Preparation to leave Mr. B and the kids involves food shopping, (so they don't live on biscuits all weekend), preparing over night bags for granny's, (you didn't think Mr. B would have them all on his own did you?!), leaving out a selection of MATCHING kids clothes.....I could go on.

But all this is well worth it for two wonderful weekends away with my gorgeous friends and family.

Weekend 1 involved a cottage in North Yorkshire with six of my bestest girly friends, some of whom I met when I was 18 and I have have now known for 18 years, EEK!  The first shock of the weekend was that we were in a farm house on an actual farm.  Yes it did say, 'Farm House', when we booked it but most of us had wrongly assumed this was artistic license!  So a farm house in the middle of no where surrounded by sheep and cows.  Perfect.  The first night the lovely cosy cottage was subjected to much drunken girly high spirits to say the least.  When we eventually crawled out of our beds on saturday afternoon I for one was in a whole world of pain.  Why do I do it?  Just because the kids aren't around doesn't mean it's a good idea to drink my body weight in vodka.  After one of Mrs G's famous bacon and egg butties I managed to show some small signs of recovery and was at least able to maintain an upright position.  As saturday progressed it became apparent that I had serious memory loss over various points of the evening.  Not only was I repeating stories I had told on the friday night, but I had zero recollection of my rendition of Rizzo's solo from Grease, or mine and Mrs G's infamous version of the Wham Rap!! (Any readers under 30 better ask your mums!).  After hearing tell of "Proud Mary", "Whitehall Rd style" (where a bunch of us lived commune style after graduation), it slowly and painfully started to come back.....

It was a lovely sunny day so we eventually rallied ourselves for a country walk.  Some of us who shall remain nameless had cans of cider in hand, you can take the girls out of Newcastle....The comment of the afternoon had to be Ms D puzzling as to how the farmers made the cows do their business in the slurry pit!!

Saturday night was a far more subdued affair and centred around comfort food and the X Factor.  Whilst we were watching Treyc perform (don't get us started on that ridiculous name spelling).  Ms D and Mrs G were outside the farm house having a cigarette.  "Why are they booing Treyc?"  Asked Mrs G.  "They're not Booing they are Mooing!!!", replied Ms D.  The X Factor as always led to much lively discussion.  Ms D said we were not allowed to fancy any of the young boys who were the same age as her son, (I asked if this rule would still apply when he turned 30, and apparently it will!).  Cheryl's poor choice of hair colour was morned, and opinion was split over Cher.  In short we sounded like our mothers.

Can't wait for next years jaunt girls it was pricless xxx  PS Can anyone remember what Mrs A said during the X Factor that had us all in stitches?

Weekend number 2 was Miss B's hen party.  In complete contrast barring the fun, this was a city break to Manchester staying in a fancy city centre apartment.  Champagne was drunk, food was eaten ... the bride to be was tortured with a game of "Mr and Mrs".  Much fun. 

I shared a room with my sister Mrs (or PC D) and our mum.  After breakfast we set out for a days shopping, a visit to the Champagne and Nair bar in Harvey Nichols and scrummy afternoon tea.  After a lie down, shower and change we were all ready for a night out and a table had been booked at Rosso in Manchester.  Rosso is apparently owned by the footballer Rio Ferdinand.  It is a lovely large converted old bank, and was packed on a saturday night.  Prior to us arriving Mrs E.G had E-mailed our food choices to the restaurant.  However when we arrived we were shown to a table 2 places too small for our party.  Mrs E.G (later re-named the smiling assassin) dealt with this sistuation so well I think she should give classes.  Smiling all the time she explained to the manager that all details of our party had been E-mailed earlier to him.  That we would like another table and definatly a glass of Prosecco whilst we waited, ( there were 16 of us!).  The manager couldn't do enough for her and I for one was in awe! 

We had a great night and carried on the fun back at the apartments.  I went to bed around 2pm, and this should be the end of the story, However..............
At 4pm our bedroom door was flung open by a young, tattooed drunken man in a pair of board shorts.  In case you were wondering this was no hen party tomfoolery!  "What are you doing in my bed You Knob head!", he shouted, before the penny dropped that he was talking to my 62 year old mother!!  "Get Out !!"  She shouted - a point she notes with some pride when recountimng this tale.  Quick as a flash PC D was out of bed and man handling him out the apartment, pausing only to check that the girls in the other bedroom had not been raped and pillaged (Should she keep him prisoner??!).  Moments later a so called security guard knocked on the door and confessed he had found him wondering the halls, he had said this was his apartment so he'd let him in!!!  After the shock had subsided we laughed until our tummies hurt.  The next day PC D (she really is a copper by the way) and Mrs E.G pointed out the serious nature of the security guards mal practise.  In short we look forward to a free return visit!!  Well would you argue with them?

Much love to Miss B on her impending nuptuals xx

After all the excitment I need a few weekends at home to recover...

Love
Kerry B

Thursday 7 October 2010

Birth Stories

Firstly, many congratulations to Mrs H-C, on the birth of her gorgeous daughter.  I look forward to meeting her and also hearing, "the birth story".

 Birth stories are a weakness of mine, and as they get repeated frequently at drunken girly gatherings I am guessing I'm not alone.  After the birth of FBS I prouldly related my birth story, (to anyone who'd listen) like a soldier retuning injured from the war.  I didn't hold back.  The other 3 women on the four bed ward where i ended up for three nights must have been pig sick of hearing it.  In fact in hindsight this is perhaps the reason I got moved to my own room for the last 2 nights!  The stuff the doctors don't tell you and you're too afraid to ask - I told.  In hindsight it's a wonder so many of my friends and family have actually gone on to have kids!  An elderly relative told me (a bit too late!) that aparently this stuff is not supposed to be shared with your friends,o not to scare them unnecessarily, (whoops!) 

FBS' s birth you see was everything i'd feared and more.  My labour was long..days long.  It was probably the most traumatic, scary, painful thing I have ever been through.  I'm sure you are pleased to hear (especially those friends who have heared this story first hand) that I will not be going into the gory details here.  Suffice to say it involved drips, epidurals, a lot of gas and air (which I loved), a catheter (when this was being emptied I asked the midwife, 'who was having a wee?  YOU!  She said - did I think someone was squating in the corner of the delivery suite?!), stitches...and finally a baby boy!  I could practically balance him on one hand and although I thought he looked a bit like a frog..he was my frog.

TD's birth couldn't have been more different.  She was almost 2 weeks early, and I started with labour pains whilst having lunch in a cafe with Mr.B.  Before I set off to the hospital at about 9pm that night, I read FBS a bedtime story, made and ate a chicken stir fry.  I rang my mum   around 7.30pm to ask if she could come over to look after FBS, "Yes", she said, "But can I watch The Bill first?"  Yes, cheers mum, in your own time!  Since FBSs birth, the local maternity ward had been changed into a midwife led "birth centre".  After protesting for 8 and a half months that I wanted to travel to the maternity unit in the next town, and have "all the drugs", this was where TD was born.  The birth centre in Huddersfield can only be decribed as the closest thing you will get to a health spa on the NHS.  It was fabulous, and TD arrived less than four hours after we got there with only the help of a birthing pool, a gay brummie midwife and of course LOTS of gas and air!  Aside from the usual cursing at MrB, (well I was in labour, it wasn't that brilliant!) it was a wonderful experience.  I was very lucky and this has certainly made up for the halloween style birth of FBS.  TD looked like Max Branning off of Eastenders, but I didn' care..She was my Max Branning.

Love
Kerry B xx

Tuesday 28 September 2010

Motherhood -Changes to Body, Mind and Soul

Firstly, admit it, how many of us took a pre-pregnancy pair of jeans to the hospital with them, under the mis-guided belief that they would parade out of there, 24 hours later, looking exactly as they had 40 weeks previously?

  Last week a much younger mummy friend of mine confided in me that since having her daughter her boobs were, "deformed".  Puzzled I got her to explain what she meant.  I eventually understood that what she actually meant was her boobs had lost fullness at the top. I couldn't help myself, i had to laugh (and kept chuckling to myself on and off for the rest of the afternoon - much to her annoyance), "Sweetheart if you're deformed so am I, and pretty much every other mum I know!!"  Although relieved to hear this, she was surprised that most mothers do suffer from a disappointing sag in the boob area post - pregnancy.  I suppose this along with stretch marks, varacose veins and saggy tums is what you don't see with the Victoria Beckham type celeb 'yummy mummys' featured in magazines.  A friend of mine Mrs D swears celeb skinny mums have a post c-section (they never seem to push do they?) tummy tuck as standard.

I must admit it is quite a shock how long it takes to get your body back to anywhere near how you remember it.  I recently lost my culmunative weight gained through both of my pregnancies (bear in mind TD just turned two!).  Naturally I am pleased about this, but when I look in the mirror all I see is the same saggy tummy just stuck on a smaller body. 

What is even more shocking than the irriversable body changes is what happens upstairs.  My friend Mrs S claims she is only one small step away from having to wear a blackboard round her neck, to write herself notes on as she goes.  I refer to it as,'mummy brain', and see no signs of it departing dispite the fact that my daughter is 2.

Here are a list of things I think I would not have done BC (before children):

1. Gone to pick my son up from nursery with one jean leg tucked into my boot and the other out.
2. Sent my laptop through the post wrapped only in a jiffy bag.
3. Shouted at a middle aged woman in Tesco for, 'tutting' at FBS aged 2.
4. Took TD shopping wearing a press studded vest, tights and no nappy!
5. Posted a pile of christmas cards, some with names, addresses and stamps on, some with just names?!

Finally, did anyone ever cry at adverts pre- pregnancy?  Anything be it on the news or in a soap opera can set me off.  Anything involving kids and Mr B is considering getting me sedated. 
The other thing is that my self confidence has definately taken a knock.  I love being a mum but the tiredness, biscuit mush on your jeans and scrapped back hair, doesn't make you feel a million dollars. 

But then occasionally when I get dressed up to go out, FBS will exclaim, "mummy you look beautiful!"  I think he is genuinely surprised.  He also says I make the best pancakes ever...I know the names of a lot of dinosaurs....and only i can make them feel better when they fall down....

Lots of changes yes.  But not all bad.

Love
Kerry B xx

Thursday 16 September 2010

Letter to TD

This is a letter to TD on the event of her 2nd birthday for her to read when she is older.

Happy Birthday darling daughter you are 2!!
As i write this you are tucked up in your cot for your afternoon nap after a hard morning at playschool.  You insist on taking duck (your most favourite comforter) and also pig and peppa (pig) to bed with you.  It is often quite stressful trying to locate duck when it is time for bed, as you refuse to go to bed without him.  Here are my top 5 places you have hidden duck:

1. The washer
2. My welly
3. Under the seat of your ride on
4. In a blender!
5. In a pan in the pan drawer

Sometimes you get him wet just before bedtime.  On our family holiday to Menorca this year I tried to dry him with my hairstraighteners in the absence of a tumble or hair dryer.  You are also as obsessive about your dummy or "doddy" as you call it.  Once at Grandma's you fell and hurt yourself.  Your Auntie swears you shouted,  "Duck, duck, doddy, doddy", before you even cried!

This time last year you had only just begun to crawl and now you run everywhere.  You love playing in the garden and playgrounds and you are absolutely fearless, anything your brother does you want to do too.  Once this summer whilst buying icecream in the park, you wandered off and after a moments panic I saw your little face at the top of the biggest slide.  You love to show off and shout, "mum watch this, watch this!"

 You talk really well for your age, (your mothers daughter), but you look just like your dad. You love playing/fighting with your brother and you are not happy that he now leaves us every day for school.  Taking him to school every morning you insist on having your window open, and poke ducks head out like a dogs!  Then on the walk up to school you steal blackberries from someone's garden.  You always look shocked how sour they are.  You usually refuse to hold my hand and I get cross.  You are fiercly independent and stubborn.  I hope this is the terrible 2's and you grow out of it otherwise I think you you and I are gonna fall out.

Your brother chose a birthday present himself for you.  It is a "Little Mermaid" costume.  However so far you have refused to try it on for him.  In the end after baths the other night he tried it on himself!!  I made you a birthday cake myself this year and you had a party tea.  You LOVE crisps.  Normally I have to keep them hidden from you as you eat them like a dizzy dog.

You like to sing,  'twinkle twinkle', and 'sleeping bunnies' and you insist on talking to whoever is on the phone.  You hate having your teeth brushed.  You love to wear hats. You think it is funny to pretend your name is Jack.

You are beautiful, bright and determined!  I love being your mum.  Happy Birthday darling xxxxx

Thursday 9 September 2010

SLEEP - The Holy Grail of Parenting

I miss sleep.  I mean obviously I do sleep.  I miss unbroken sleep.  I miss waking up naturally.  I even miss the reliability of the alarm going off (I have not needed an alarm since FBS was born nearly five years ago).  I miss going to bed and knowing i will not have to get out again until morning.  I know I'm banging on, but this is what years of broken sleep does to you.  You become a little bit obsessive. 

At the moment a lot of my friends have just, or are about to give birth, some for the first time.  Nothing can prepare you for this part of parenting.  Sometimes you might hear a heavily pregnant woman musing that she isn't sleeping well and perhaps this is preparation for the baby coming.  It isn't.  Until you have been deep in slumber and then woken in the most brutal of ways - then made to stay awake for..say half an hour..an hour..maybe more, then you have no idea.  Welcome to the first 6 weeks of parenthood (6 if you're lucky).

After that then of course you don't get a through nights sleep - but with a bit of luck the night time disturbances have been reduced to 2 or 3 times most nights.  Before I had FBS I thought that one day your child,"slept through", and that was it ..end of..job done.  But no!  This,"sleeping through", sometimes happens by shear fluke and then is not repeated for 6 months!  A child who has started "sleeping through", gets sick or goes on holiday and you're back to square one.  I could more or less say FBS "slept through" by the time he was 18 months, but even now he will disturb me after a bad dream or wetting the bed, (recently he decided to go to bed in a batman costume complete with mask and woke at 2am sweating profusely and gasping for a drink!)

At baby clinics and the like there is always a mother who boasts that her child has been sleeping through since they were 2 weeks old.  Here are my thoughts on this:
The mother is clearly on medication and cannot hear her child
The child is lacking in character and/or intellect
This mother will get hers eventually...I bet this child ends up with an ASBO

Most parents I know end up having to employ some kind of "tough love" strategy to get a reasonable night sleep. TD still wakes once or twice most nights.  Usually it's a case of putting her dummy back in and she goes back to sleep.  I could live with this if I could then jump back in the sack and go straight back to sleep.  But no.  Firstly, to be frank my pelvic floor is not what it was, and the minute I am woken I need to pee. 
Secondly once back in bed my mind starts going.  You're a stay at home mum I hear you cry, what's to think about?  God only knows but it happens. 
Thirdly Mr. B starts snoring and i'm really unhappy.  This is all worse when it happens at 5am, cos then the likelihood of me getting back to sleep before TD wakes at 6am for the morning is slim to none. 

To any new parents reading, good luck.  Start sky plusing any good TV on after 9pm....

Love
Kerry B xx